Vanity Vampire



Sometimes I get bored and just want attention.


It feels good to be acknowledged, liked, applauded.


Yet now I am become more sure that 'standing-out' is only worthwhile when we are also 'standing-up' for something. Rather than being 'Self-Centered' - as though we are the center of attention, acting as though events are about us, or that we are most important - we become 'centered-in-self'. This means knowing who we are, having a sense of identity, and thereby having grounds from which we are able to contribute to our communities in our own unique way.


This 'centered in self' approach allows us to be quite 'self-less' in a social atmosphere, as we are already grounded in our identity, which we are sharing outward with others, rather than clinging to others' perceptions of us, to give us a feeling of affirmation about who we are or want to be.


To people who read this and are thinking - yeah, fuck selfish people! - no, that is not the solution. Selfish people require patience, compassion, and boundaries, from those who have understanding.


To people who read this and feel, 'oh dear, that's me - I'm the selfish one!' know that it is okay, that you are loved, and that you have the power of all creation in the core of your being.


Lets acknowledge the strength that we have within ourselves, to stand strong independently, and to be able to give effectively as a part of a healthy community.





Hating others is the same as hating ourselves, for we are all one. What we see around us exists within our own being. To love that which makes us uneasy is to touch it with patience and compassion, which leads to healing and balance. This is the way of Light.


I recently watched a video on 'Emotional Immaturity', which I largely appreciated: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdE17nu0zdo It speaks of owning up to our emotions in order to grow. It hit home, and caused me to reflect on several of my blatant shortcomings as an emotional being. I was left sore after the video, as the message left off saying, if you spot somebody who is emotionally immature, avoid them.


Now, I am not saying that we need to carry the burden of others, or that we are even capable of solving the problems of another outright, but I do sincerely believe that we must show others degrees of love and kindness if humanity is to have any shot at moving forward. Indeed, humanity in a larger sense, and also within our own social circles.


Social circles at their best, I find, are diverse. They include people that we like and do not like, who are mature and immature. Any relationship requires love and exchange, even if only in tiny amounts with people who we just 'can't stand'. Everybody deserves a shot. Indeed, if we are unwilling to help another, then how could we possibly be deserving of help ourselves?


You may recall from the Bible, many quotes of the sort. Particularly Matthew 18: 21-35

"Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister, who sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy seven-times". 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A21-35&version=NIV


Meaning: a lot.

Jesus then goes on to tell a parable of a servant in debt to his master. The servant, unable to pay his debts, cries to the master, begging for relief. The master pitied the servant, cancelled his debt, and let him go.


Later, the same servant goes out to those who owe him a debt, when they are unable to pay, he has them thrown into jail. When the master finds out how his servant was unwilling to pay his kindness forward, he has him thrown into prison and tortured until he is able to pay back his former debts.


Jesus then declares "This is how your heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart".


Harsh? Perhaps. Yet I argue that we are throwing our own selves into a world of torture if we are unable to care for one another. God loves all things, yet in order for that love to move through us we have to pass it to those who need it. This is the way of the Light.


Until next time,


Allan Turton


PS I would love to hear from you! Feel free to speak up in the comment section below :)

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